Navigating Friendship Challenges as a New Mum in the Age of Toxic Mum Groups

Becoming a new mum brings a whirlwind of emotions and changes. Alongside the joy and exhaustion, many new mothers face an unexpected challenge: making friends. The recent BBC article published on January 18, 2026, highlighted the rise of toxic mum groups, shedding light on how these social circles can sometimes do more harm than good. This post explores why forming genuine friendships as a new mum can be difficult and offers practical advice to navigate this complex social landscape.

Having a baby can often make one feel alone and islolated. Making friends is important but should not be your priority.

Why Making Friends as a New Mum Is So Hard

New motherhood changes everything, including social life. Many mums find their old friendships drifting away as priorities shift. At the same time, the pressure to connect with other mums can feel overwhelming. Here are some reasons why making friends during this period is particularly challenging:

• Time and Energy Constraints

Caring for a newborn demands nearly all your time and energy. Sleep deprivation and constant attention to the baby leave little room for socializing.

• Changing Interests and Priorities

Your interests may shift dramatically. Conversations that once felt natural might now seem irrelevant, making it harder to relate to old friends.

• Fear of Judgment

New mums often worry about being judged for their parenting choices. This fear can make reaching out to others intimidating.

• Toxic Mum Groups

The BBC article highlighted how some mum groups can become toxic, marked by competition, exclusion, and judgment. These negative experiences discourage many from seeking new friendships.

Understanding Toxic Mum Groups

Toxic mum groups are social circles where negativity overshadows support. They might appear welcoming at first but can quickly turn into sources of stress. Common signs include:

• Cliques and Exclusion

Some groups form tight cliques that exclude newcomers or those who don’t fit a certain mold.

• Judgment and Criticism

Members may criticize parenting styles, feeding choices, or lifestyle decisions, creating a hostile environment.

• Competition

Instead of sharing experiences, some mums compete over milestones, baby products, or appearances.

• Gossip and Drama

Toxic groups often thrive on gossip, which can damage trust and friendships.

Recognizing these signs helps new mums avoid harmful groups and seek healthier connections.

Despite having a common experience- of having a baby, making friends with other mums can be stressful.

How to Find Supportive Friendships as a New Mum

Despite the challenges, many new mums find meaningful friendships that provide comfort and understanding. Here are some strategies to build supportive connections:

Join Interest-Based Groups

Look for groups that focus on shared interests beyond motherhood. This could be a book club, a fitness class, or a hobby group that welcomes parents. Connecting over common passions can lead to deeper friendships.

Attend Local Parenting Classes or Workshops

Many communities offer parenting classes or baby-friendly activities. These settings encourage natural interaction and provide a chance to meet others in similar situations.

Use Online Communities Wisely

Online forums and social media groups can be valuable but choose carefully. Look for moderated groups with clear rules against negativity. Participate actively but avoid groups that feel competitive or judgmental.

Be Open About Your Feelings

Sharing your struggles and vulnerabilities can help build trust. When you open up, others may feel comfortable doing the same, creating a supportive environment.

Set Boundaries

It’s okay to step back from groups or individuals who drain your energy. Protecting your mental health is essential.

Making friendships at anytime can be difficult. Making friends after having a baby can be tough. When you do find your tribe of friends - be mindful of giving the friendship the same consideration you would to any other new friendship - take your time in cultivating theses relationships.

Practical Tips for Building New Friendships

Making friends takes effort, especially as a new mum. Here are some practical tips to help:

• Start Small

Begin with brief conversations at baby groups or playgrounds. Small interactions can grow into friendships over time.

• Follow Up

If you meet someone you click with, suggest meeting again. A simple message or invitation can make a big difference.

• Be Patient

Friendships don’t form overnight. Give relationships time to develop naturally.

• Offer Help

Helping others, like sharing baby supplies or advice, fosters goodwill and connection.

• Stay Positive

Focus on positive interactions and avoid gossip or negative talk.

The Role of Partners and Family

Partners and family members can support new mums in their social journey. Encouragement to attend groups, offering childcare for breaks, or simply listening can make a difference. Sometimes, family friends or relatives with children can be a good starting point for building friendships.

When to Seek Professional Support

If feelings of loneliness or social anxiety become overwhelming, consider seeking help from a counsellor or support group. Professional guidance can provide tools to cope and improve social skills.

Embracing Your Unique Journey

Every new mum’s experience is different. Some may find many friends quickly, while others take longer. The key is to focus on what feels right for you and your baby. As best as possoble avoid comparing yourself to others or trying to fit into toxic groups.

Building friendships as a new mum is challenging but possible. By recognizing toxic dynamics and seeking supportive connections, you can create a positive social circle that enriches your motherhood journey.